


The Cat-eyed Counselor

by orphan_account



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell, Fangirl - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow series - Gemma T. Leslie
Genre: AU where Penny is a counselor and she knew Baz first, All the things with the mage happened, Books, Carry On was released the sixth of october, Coffee, Counseling, Flowers, I Don't Even Know, Multi, New Mage, Old Families, Pride, Pride Parade, Simon Snow just makes me think of fluff and coffee, Simon is an absolute dork, SnowBaz, Valentine's Day, but without Penny and Agatha, converses, doctor who - Freeform, ex girlfriend to friend, hey guys, just ignore me, pretty sure Simon has PTSD, this is garbage, this is really bad, utopia coffeeshop/bookstore, vampire study
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-06-03 01:11:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 5,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6590590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Why does Snowbaz make me think of coffee and fluff consistently?</p>
        </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

     Simon wasn't sure what to think. Being in therapy was an entirely new experience to him, even though Baz assured him that he had been through it multiple times, and it wasn't that bad. Baz had made sure that Simon had the best magical therapist possible, and had walked Simon in on the first day. "I'm fine!" Simon had said, half-heartedly trying to push Baz off. 

     "I don't care Snow. This isn't about you! I want to walk you in, so I'm going to walk you in. You don't get a vote, this isn't a democracy." Simon mused for a moment, and decided not to argue. Baz knew that he wasn't going to get any resistance, and smirked slightly. Simon was walked into a small room where a woman was sitting at a desk. She was wearing purple cat-eye glasses and a huge ring. She smiled at him. Simon looked at her awkwardly. She seemed to be about his age. 

    "I'm Simon." he said haltingly. She looked at him silently for a moment. 

    "I know. My name is Penelope Bunce." Baz put his mouth to Simon's ear. \

    "She's strange, but trust me, she's worth it." Simon looked at Baz in surprise. It wasn't often that Baz gave that high a compliment to someone other than himself. Baz seemed to see what he was thinking, and guessed what Simon was feeling before Simon even knew himself. "Don't get jealous. She's just a good counselor, okay?" Simon smiled, and walked out from under Baz's arm. Penelope gestured to a chair in front of a desk, and Simon sat. 

    "Now if you would please go Mr. Pitch, we may begin."


	2. Chapter 2

     Baz had waited for the first hour and a half of the session, but he had to use the bathroom badly, so he got up and started walking towards the door, looking down at his phone. He crashed into someone, feeling a liquid spilling on his shirt. He looked up to see a blond woman with a spilled coffee cup in her hand. "I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going!" Baz said quickly. She tried to smile up at him, even though her white shirt was definitely ruined. 

     "It's okay." she said, looking at her sopping shirt. Baz looked at it as well, and felt a twinge of guilt.

      "Sorry about your shirt." She automatically looked down at it, but immediately looked back up.

      "It didn't fit anyway." Baz looked at the shirt. It fit perfectly. She started to walk back out the door, and he followed. 

      "Weren't you just going in there?" She looked at him for a second, and spoke.

      "I was just going to bring some coffee to my girlfriend, so I'm going to get some more." Baz wondered who her girlfriend was, but focused on what he knew was the right thing to do. 

     "Well at least let me pay for the coffee. It's the least I can do to pay for the damage my absent-mindedness did to your shirt." The girl looked like she was going to argue for a second, then relented.

     "Okay. I'm Agatha." The name Agatha seemed familiar to him, but he couldn't think where from. 

     "Baz."

     He walked after her as she walked into a small coffee shop/bookshop. The walls were lined with bookshelves, except for the one counter that served coffee. People were sitting and reading, or with laptops, drinking coffee in lots of different mugs. Beatles music was playing softly.  Agatha watched Baz take everything in. 

     "Penny loves this place, because coffee and books are pretty much her favorite thing. Her friend Micah runs this place." Baz nodded, figuring out who Agatha was dating. It was funny, that after so many therapy sessions he didn't know that his therapist was dating a girl. Baz didn't really care, it was just interesting. Agatha walked up to the counter, a boy with thick glasses coming up to take her order. 

      "Hi Agatha!" the boy said. "Back so soon... Did something happen to the coffee?" he said, taking in her sopping shirt. Agatha glanced down again.

       "Yeah. Um, I spilled it." Baz wasn't sure why she hadn't said that he spilled it on her shirt, but Agatha didn't even look at him. "Can I get the usual for Penny?" she said, talking to the boy.

      "Sure." he said, ringing it up. "So, grande black coffee?" Agatha nodded in affirmation. The boy noticed Baz for the first time. "And who is this?" he asked curiously. Agatha opened her mouth to speak, but Baz cut her off. 

     "I'm the guy who spilled coffee on her shirt. My name's Baz." The boy looked at Baz's shirt, noticing the coffee there for the first time. 

     "I'm Micah." Baz nodded at him. Micah reached under the counter, finding a cup, and started on the coffee. There were other people working behind the counter, all of them wearing shirts with a picture of a stack of books with a steaming mug of coffee on it. "Will work for books and coffee." it said. Agatha followed Baz's line of sight, and smiled.

     "Penny came up with that." she said proudly. At that moment Micah handed over giant steaming cup of coffee. Agatha thanked him Baz pulled out his wallet to pay. After paying, they walked out the door and back to the therapist's office across the street. Baz sat in one of the chairs in the lobby, as Agatha went and knocked on the door. The door was opened a few seconds later, and Agatha walked in. She stopped short when she saw Simon. 

       "Simon!" He took her in for a second, and them seemed to recognize her. He didn't appear to notice the coffee on her shirt.   
        "Oh, hi Agatha. I didn't expect to see you here." Simon looked surprised to see her. Baz suddenly knew where he had heard the name before. Agatha. Simon's old girlfriend. Baz felt jealous of the pretty blond woman, even if both she and Simon were both dating other people. Agatha looked uncomfortable.

       "Well, you know, it's a small world." Baz could feel the awkwardness from over here. Agatha broke Simon's gaze and went and sat the coffee on the desk. Simon hesitated, and then spoke in a rush. 

      "You know, after we broke up, we didn't go back to being friends. Maybe we could try for that again?" he said, phrasing it in a question form. Agatha thought for a second, and then nodded. Yep, Baz was definitely feeling jealous. Penelope was watching this exchange with interest. She then stood up. 

     "Thanks for the coffee Aggie. I think the session was about over anyway? Hey, what happened to your shirt?" she said. Agatha smiled sheepishly, even if it wasn't her who spilled it.

     "Long story. Anyway, I've got to go." Simon nodded, and stood up. All three of them exited the office, coming out into the room where Baz was sitting. He stood up too. Simon started when he saw him. 

    "Baz! You're still here?" Baz looked at Simon. 

     "I told you I'd stick around, didn't I?" Simon looked at him.

      "Yeah, but I said for you to go home..." Baz scoffed. 

       "Since when have I listened to you Snow?" Simon smiled slightly, and then whined, 

       "Baz, just call me Simon, please?" Baz stayed firm for a moment, and then relented. 

      "Alright, Simon." Simon's smile widened, and he nudged Baz with his wing. Baz was feeling less jealous now. Penelope and Agatha started to walk out of the door, and Simon and Baz followed. They were in the car when Baz spoke again.

     "So that was your old girlfriend." Simon stayed silent for a second and answered. 

     "Yeah." Baz continued to question Simon.

     "Why'd you guys break up?" Simon looked at Baz.

      "We just figured out that our relationship wasn't real. Why, is someone jealous?" he said coyly. Baz glared.

     "Stuff it Snow." Simon laughed, and nudged Baz with is tail. Baz let himself smile. He was glad that Simon and Agatha had broken up...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why does Snowbaz make me think of coffee and fluff consistently?


	3. Because Doctor Who is amazing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what this is.

     Baz looked down at his phone anxiously, checking the time. Snow wasn't back yet, and it had been five minutes. He was just going to get something from the car, it should have only taken two minutes at the LEAST. It had been seven minutes and thirty-seven seconds when he decided to go and find Simon. What if he had been kidnapped by goblins, or he was dead in a snowbank, or what if he was secretly meeting his ex girlfriend? Visions filled his head, each more terrifying than the next. He opened the door and heard an "OWWW!" from the other side. He opened the door more widely to see Simon standing on the other side holding his forehead. 

    "Oh my God, are you okay?!?!???" Baz cried, running over to Simon. Simon tried to smile up at him. 

    "Baz, where were you going?" Baz continued trying to see Simon's forehead. He stopped when he realized Simon was still expecting an answer. 

     "Um, I was just going to go check on you?" he said quietly. Simon looked like he was exasperated and like he was about to laugh at the same time. 

      "Baz, I was gone barely five minutes!" Simon said. Baz looked at the ground. 

       " I know, you were just... gone longer than usual." Baz mumbled. Simon did laugh this time. 

       "I was gone longer than usual because the old lady who lives in 3B stopped me to talk about her cats and I didn't know what to say." Simon smiled at Baz, and lifted his chin to see his face. 

      "Yeah, but, better to be safe than sorry?" Baz said abashedly. Simon smiled, and started to walk into the apartment. Baz followed behind, still trying to move Simon's messy curls away from his forehead. Simon batted his hand away.

     "Baz, it's fine! you barely hit me." Baz finally stopped trying to mess with Simon's forehead, but walked Simon over to the couch. Simon sat, but looked at Baz in exasperation. "I can walk, seriously, Baz, I'm fine." Baz sat on the couch next to him, and turned on the television. 

      "I can put on Doctor Who if you want." He said. Simon smiled.

      "Sure, but don't think I don't know what you're doing." Baz ignored that, busying himself with turning the show on. He settled back into Simon, watching the show he pretended only to humor, but really loved, because seriously, Doctor Who. 


	4. Evening out with your Ex girlfriend

     Baz smoothed down the black shirt he was wearing, and looked at the sprawled figure lying across the bed. He sighed and went and poked the figure. "Simon, get up, you have ten minutes until we have to leave to meet them." Simon groaned and pulled a pillow over his head. Baz pulled it off, and Simon rolled out of the bed. Baz poked his pathetic form with his toe. 

    "Simon, you need to go get dressed, and I haven't even spelled your wings yet!" Simon pulled himself up using the bed and went into the bathroom. He then changed into some less wrinkled clothing. They were going to meet Penelope and Agatha at the coffee shop. Simon ran his fingers through his hair, it still being hopelessly messy. Baz looked at his watch, and decided that they didn't really have time to fix it. Baz sighed and lifted his wand. " **These aren't the droids you're looking for.** " Simon looked up in surprise. 

    "I didn't know you knew Star Wars." Baz sighed dramatically. 

     "Well Snow, I don't have time to explain all the numerous things you don't know about me, so I believe I'm just going to let you mull that over." Simon looked slightly confused, and hurried to follow Baz out the door. 

    When they got to the coffee shop, Baz looked around for the girls. They were sitting in a booth at the window, Penelope wearing one of the staff shirts and talking animatedly to Agatha, who was wearing a light pink sundress with tiny white flowers, sipping from a Harry Potter mug. Baz weaved through the tables, heading towards the booth. Agatha looked up and waved at them, setting her mug down. Penelope turned and looked at them. "Hello Simon, Baz." Simon smiled, and Baz stood by the table. Penelope looked up at him. "You can go order you know." Simon started and headed off towards the counter. Baz slid in the booth next to Penelope. 

    "I'm not getting anything." Baz looked over at Simon, who was shifting back and forth in line, as if he wasn't sure what to do with himself. Which was true most times, if you thought about it. He turned and looked at Agatha and Penelope. "Why do you use so many different mugs?" Penelope smiled. 

     "Well, when Micah and I started the shop, I had a lot of mugs, so we just started using those for the mugs. The collection has grown, but there's a lot of variety." Baz frowned slightly.

     "You and Micah started the shop?" He asked. Penelope looked at the floor.

      "Yeah, we used to be married. I still work here, just a bit less because of the therapy thing. But I still co own." Baz wasn't sure what to say. This was awkward.

       "Well, it's nice that you're still friends." Penelope nodded slightly. 

    "Sooo..." Penelope said, clearly at a loss for words. Agatha swooped in, and gracefully started a conversation. When Simon came to sit down a few minutes later, Penelope and Baz were in a discussion about the pros and cons of using Greek versus Latin spells. Agatha was sitting back, watching the rapid exchange with a faint sense of amusement. The conversation ended with both parties being convinced that they're right, and Agatha deftly changing the subject. Simon spaced out until he heard them talking about jobs. Penelope was talking about how one of the workers had quit without notice and they were scrambling to find a person to replace her. Baz seemed to be thinking what Simon was thinking, and said,

    "Simon's been looking for a job for a while. Is there any way we could set up an interview?" Penelope looked at Simon and smiled. 

     "Yeah, just ask Micah if you can set up an interview. He's almost always at the counter." Simon looked at Baz, and Baz nudged him in the direction of the counter. Simon tripped over his tail, but made his way over to the counter. He and Micah talked for a few minutes, and Simon came back smiling. 

     "It's all set up."


	5. books, beans, and skinny jeans

     Baz sighed. He didn't really want to take Simon shopping, but if he was going to do it, he was going to do it right. He was going to get Simon nice clothing if it killed him. It had only been a few years, and Simon only had the stuff from Watford and a few of Baz's simplest shirts to wear. Even though this was supposed to just be so Simon could go to work, because he couldn't always borrow Baz's clothing, Baz wanted to get Simon a whole new wardrobe. Simon seemed to like sweaters, so Baz took him to a few shops that held designer sweaters. Simon didn't appreciate the quality, but Baz wanted him to have nice clothing. Simon goggled at the clothes.

    "Baz, have you seen the price tag on this thing!?!?" He would say, holding up a sweater.  "What is this even made of?" Simon had never really done his own shopping, so of course he didn't know how expensive clothing could be. Baz would pay the money without complaint. After the end of the first hour, they had bought enough sweaters to wrap the Eiffel tower. And there was still shirts, shoes, pants, and anything else Simon needed to go. Baz leaned toward the solid colored shirts, while Simon liked the bright color graphic shirts. At the end of shirt shopping, Simon had left with enough Doctor Who shirts to last him a lifetime. Baz made sure they left with plenty of black, red, blue, and green shirts, the colors he liked best on Simon. But Simon looked good in anything. 

     On that trip Baz learned three valuable things:

1\. Simon looked very good in skinny jeans

2\. Simon might have been the chosen one, but that didn't stop him from backing into a rack of clothing and knocking it over.

3\. Simon really liked converse sneakers. (By the end of the day, because he was spoiled rotten by Baz, ask anyone, he had a rainbow of sneakers.)

     After five more hours a whole lot of shops, Simon was decked out in a red shirt, a Doctor Who scarf, black skinny jeans and red converses. Baz thought he looked very cute, but all he said was,

    "You've looked worse I suppose." Simon smiled. It was his first day of work the next day, and Simon was excited to do something after so long of doing nothing, not even Baz could ruin his mood, even though that was an area of pride for Baz, being the only person in the world who could bug Simon like he did. 

     On his Simon's first day of work, Baz insisted on walking him in even though Simon protested. Simon always protested, but Baz got his way. Simon was wearing the soft blue staff shirt, black jeans, and sneakers that matched his shirt. Pretty much all his jeans were black now, because Baz was a big believer in black being the best color to wear because it went with everything.  Baz secretly thought it was adorable, color coordinating his shoes, but it didn't stop him from rolling his eyes at Simon's rainbow of shoes spilling out of the closet.

    Micah and Penny were waiting for Simon when they walked in, and one glance from Penelope told Baz that he should go. It wasn't a glare exactly, it was a look to let Simon do this on his own. Baz relented, and walked out of the shop. Simon would be at work for five hours today, and Baz had work to do anyway.

     Ever since the end of the war and the hiring of a new mage, there was some questions about magical creatures, including vampires. The New Mage was all about being open to any kind of magical creatures, and they were trying to find out all that they could about vampires and their physiology. Baz hadn't really wanted to offer himself as a study, but Penelope had managed to convince him. What she said in that room Baz was never repeating. He had a kype appointment with the head of the vampire study, who was a total prat but Baz put up with him. He tried to answer all the questions as honestly as possible, but it was sometimes infuriating. 

    Sometimes Baz traveled over to the office for the study, but right now they said they didn't need him to be there in person. It was a relief honestly. Baz didn't like the study, it was fairly invasive. 

    The New Mage was a female friend of Penelope's mother. Penelope always referred to her as "The only time my mother's power searching ever found her someone that mattered. " Baz and Penelope had become friends after counseling, even though they had never talked at Watford. Baz had forgotten her name, the New Mage. Ever since moving in with Simon, he had become disconnected with Magickal politics, and even more disconnected with the Old Families. It just didn't seem to matter as much, once he had gotten his impossible wish, his impossible boy. It felt like a dream that they were both alive and together and in a world where they could have a happily ever after, something that had only happened in fairy tales before. Baz never knew what he had done to deserve this, this charmed life. Baz had always assumed that whatever end he could have would always make him miserable, but here he was, alive and fairly happy.

     Simon was happy at the coffee shop. The work was easy with fairly good pay, and even if he didn't really love to read he loved the atmosphere. He loved the soft music coming from the speakers and the smell of freshly ground coffee and the friendly customers. He loved how someone with a beard could wear high heels, or two girls could kiss and no one could bat an eye. He was friends with the other employees, sharing an earbud of Troye Sivan or talking about Doctor Who or Star Wars while they worked. He had only been there for a week, and it already felt like home. 

   Baz came to the coffee shop once a day, when he knew Simon would be there. He would order a pumpkin mocha breve, and Simon would smile and hand it over the counter. This arrangement worked out well for both of them. Baz needed the coffee, and Simon was always glad to keep busy. 


	6. Chapter 6

     Penelope walked into the counseling office. It was so strange to be one of your patients friends, and work at the coffee shop with them, and then turn around and be their counselor. She unconsciously changed her demeanor when she was counseling, becoming more patient and formal than she was when talking about Doctor Who or serving coffee. She knew when she walked in that today was not going to be a good day. Simon barely looked at her, speaking the minimum that he could. 

    "Is something wrong?" Stupid question. Of course something was wrong. Simon shook his head, looking at the floor. Penelope sighed. "You know that's the whole point of this session. To talk." She mentally kicked herself. That wasn't very nice, she was supposed to let him talk on his own terms. Simon sighed and relented.

    "I keep going back to that day. With what happened. I try and think about what would have happened if I had just let him have it. My power. The Mage. Would he have lived?" Penny sighed. It was something that everyone had thought about, the night that Simon defeated the Humdrum, the night that The Mage died, and Ebb died, and Agatha almost died. Penelope didn't want to say this, but she firmly believed that it was all the Mage's fault. 

   In his power search, The Mage had created a time bomb that could tear apart the world. He had given Simon power that no one should have to bear. He had caused his wife's death, and chosen again and again to fight when he didn't have to. He was the reason Ebb was dead, and Simon was broken, Agatha had almost died. The Mage had caused the disease and the cure, and it had lead to his own and other people's deaths. His choices were ones he didn't have the right to make, and they had resulted in misery for everyone. 

    Sometimes when you try to make the choice to fight, all you are really doing is making the choice to destroy. The Mage's death was a result of his own actions, he had it coming, in Penelope's opinion. Penelope didn't say any of this. Instead, she said,

    "I don't know. Just remember this Simon: It is not your fault. You saved us, you did the best you could. Don't blame yourself, it was an accident."

     Simon knew that he would never forget The Mage turning limp, as a result of Simon's spell. There was no way he could twist it where it wasn't his fault. No magic solution to this moral dilemma, no easy way out. 

     Maybe that was the point, that the things you do matter, that time won't make everything disappear. He sat silently, and Penelope didn't push him. He sat for the remainder of the session, just sitting and thinking. 


	7. Chapter 7

     Before Simon was eighteen, and still thought Baz hated him, he would have thought Baz was the type to scorn Valentine's Day. He just never saw Baz as the romantic type. Now, of course, he knew Baz was a complete and utter adorable cream puff, so he wasn't too worried about Baz scorning Valentine's Day. Simon was careful that Baz didn't know. He appealed to Micah to get off work early the day before, so Baz would think he had just been to work when Simon was getting flowers.

     Simon wasn't sure what type of flowers to get Baz. Probably the most ridiculous, posh, expensive flowers possible. He walked up to the counter, and cleared his throat. The old man working behind the counter turned. "What can I help you with, sir?" He inquired. He was wearing a flannel shirt and jeans under an apron with the flower shop's name printed in the corner. Simon thought about it. 

     "Well, I'm hoping to get some flowers for Valentine's day, and I wasn't really sure what to get and I want them to be very nice, and..." He trailed off, unsure of what he was saying. The man nodded knowingly.

     "Well, I don't know this person personally, but you can never go wrong with roses." He said, gesturing towards a display of roses. Simon looked over. There were lots of red roses, a few pink, and one bouquet of white. Simon knew what he was going to do.

      "Can I get two bouquets?" He said carefully. The man smiled toothily. (Well, he would have to have had all his teeth for that, but it was the thought that counts.) He came out from behind the counter. 

      "Of course! Are you going for roses or something else?" he asked. Simon answered immediately.

      "Roses. Could I get a red bouquet and a white bouquet?" He asked. The man shuffled forward and grabbed two bouquets of flowers for Simon. He handed the flowers to Simon, and went back behind the counter.

     Simon nearly cried when he heard the price, but he paid it, because Baz was worth it. The man winked at Simon.

     "Well, you are certainly going to impress the lady!" Simon blurted out a response before he thought.

      "Man, actually." Then he left the shop before the man could come up with a response. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. *insert David Tennant saying that here*  
> I really should have updated.   
> But I didn't.  
> And now I am.  
> Also, this chapter isn't set right after the last one, but a few weeks or possibly months later.

     Baz sighed and stretched. This was taking forever! After a thorough examination of Baz's fangs, the man heading the study asked Baz questions about his feeding and hunting habits, followed by questions about health and puberty. It was embarrassing, to say the least, but Baz tried to answer all the questions honestly and keep a bored look on his face. A few years ago, he would have said something cruel and sarcastic, and walked out. But he was changing. He had Simon. He was trying. 

     Baz knew that what he was doing could potentially be important. It was also a sign that the World of Mages as a whole was changing. But when he was asked questions about if he thought vampirism had made academics more challenging, it was all he could do not to walk out, take a bus home, and announce to Simon that he had quit the study and was going to get a job at the coffee shop with Simon. (Honestly, that sounded very nice..) He had to remember that he was one of the only people in the world who could do this study, and would become an asset to education in the years to come. (At least, that was what he told himself. That was what his mother would have said. If she hadn't been murdered by the Mage.) 

   Baz had a hard time getting over his hatred of some aspects of the World of Mages, after all it had done to him. Partly it was Simon that kept him in check. The fact that Simon still had a hard time talking about the Mage. And that sometimes he saw that glint in Simon's eye when he saw Baz perform magic, that glint that reminded Baz that he wasn't the only one with losses. 

     Simon wasn't okay. Baz knew that. And as much as he wanted to pull out his wand and cast  **Feel my wrath!** on everyone who had ever hurt Simon, he tried to be more gentle, let time help heal Simon. 

     But time can't heal everything. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was really badly written, I'm sorry.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had some angst planned for the next chapter, but I decided to write something fluffy instead.

     Simon tugged on Baz's hand. Baz tried to look cool and sophisticated, as if Simon wasn't wearing a cat meme shirt and hitting people in the face by accident with his invisible wings.  Baz tried to look as if he had no idea who Simon was, and he straightened his green sweater the best he could while being pulled through a busy crowd. "Where are we going, Snow?" Baz said in (what he hoped was) an irritated tone. 

      "You'll see!!" Simon said, excitement shining on his features, his bloody handsome golden features. Baz rolled his eyes, and debated snatching his hand away, and telling Simon to just walk like a normal human being (one with wings and a tail anyway), or at least like a vampire. Really, this was getting uncomfortable.

      Baz sighed, and let Simon lead him to wherever Simon wanted to lead him. He was too weak for this. Simon eventually slowed to a stop on a busy street. What was going on? The street was full of people dressed in all degrees of ridiculous clothing, and there were people holding signs everywhere. Simon practically bounced. "It's Pride! We're going to march in Pride!" Ohhh. Baz was starting to get it now. He was about to say no. He was used to not being openly gay, to being secretive, and, well, not exactly shameful, but  _quiet_ about his gayness. Then he looked at Simon. Simon was practically jumping now, and that ridiculous cat...

      "Fine." Baz sighed. "How long will this take?" Simon didn't answer, just pulled Baz into the throng of people. 

      Though Baz didn't want to admit it, it was kind of fun. Baz stayed quiet, but Simon was making friends with the people around them, or bloody course. Bunce was right. Snow made friends too easily. The two girls shyly holding hands were nice, though, and Simon looked adorable shouting "We're here, we're queer, get over it!" with the trans girl and the bisexual man wearing the rainbow bowtie. And for once, Baz wasn't the gayest person around. So that was a plus.

      Of course, there were protesters too, holding signs in the air. One girl was holding a sign saying, "We hate prostitutes!" Bloody idiot. Baz deliberately stopped, wiggled his eyebrows, bared his teeth, and winked at her. She blushed, and looked at the ground. By the end of it, Baz was really enjoying it. This Pride thing was alright. 

      Of course, the best part of the day wasn't Pride itself. It was the aftermath, Simon making spaghetti and wearing those star wars footies. (Baz hadn't even known they came in adult sizes until Simon came home with them.)

      "You enjoyed that, didn't you? You didn't make sarcastic comments the whole time, and you were actually smiling! Ha, I knew it." 

      "Shut up, Snow." 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FIIIIIIINALLY updating.   
> At this point, I think we can all agree that this fic has no plot, it's just whatever garbage my brain throws on the page.   
> THIS IS LITERAL GARBAGE   
> I am so ashamed of this.

     Baz sighed and ran his hand through his long black hair. "Well, obviously you'd have to get her a nice gift. Chocolates, maybe? Or flowers. Most people like flowers. I would say jewelry, but she doesn't seem the jewelry type, other than her ring." Simon watched him agitatedly pace the flat.  _That sweater looks good on him_ , he mused.

    "Simon! Are you even listening?" Simon looked up at Baz's face. 

    "Oh, yeah."

    "Do you have any suggestions?" Simon sighed.

    "What were we talking about again?" Baz looked at Simon in exasperation.

    "I bloody knew it. We were talking about Christmas present possibilities for Bunce."

    "Just call her Penelope."

    "Fine. We were talking about Christmas presents for Penelope." Simon thought hard.

    "I would say a book, but I don't know what she's read already." Baz nodded. 

    "That was a surprisingly good point." Simon looked at him reproachfully.

     "Shut up. What about a mug? She always wants those." Baz looked surprised again.

     "Another surprise. That's actually a good idea." Simon swatted Baz with his tail. 

     "Sod off." 

 And so began the hunt for the perfect mug. They went through all the selections of several stores, and went online. Simon tried to find one that said, #1 Therapist/Friend, but apparently there wasn't a demand for that. They went through all kinds of mugs. Eventually, Baz convinced Simon into a homemade blue pottery mug. 

     Unfortunately, when they got home, Simon's tail managed to take care of that mug. Baz sighed and shook his head.

    "And so the search begins anew." 

Simon, of course, because he always bloody saved the day, no matter what trouble he got in on the way, found the perfect gift. It was completely perfect. 

   It was a Harry Potter mug. Penelope loved Harry Potter. 

_"But it's not real magic!" Baz would protest._

_"Does it matter? It is fascinating to see Normals' views of magic. Some of those spells have even become popular enough to_ become  _real spells. If that's not interesting, I don't know what is. "_

_Then Simon would chime in.  
_

_"Anyway, the story's good, and Draco reminds me of someone." He would then wink at Baz._

_"Sod off, Snow." Simon then latched himself onto Baz's leg._

_"My name is SIMON." he would say, nuzzling Baz's leg with his nose._

_"Get off, you tosser." Baz would say, shaking his leg._

_"No! Not until you call me Simon!" At that point Penelope would pry Simon of Baz's leg._

_"No. No more disgusting PDA."_

That was a bit of a long memory. Back to why it was perfect. It was also slightly magical. Not real magic, but it was cool just the same. It was a Marauder's Map mug, that had footprints that would show up when hot liquid was poured in. When Simon saw it, he tugged on Baz's sweater. 

   "Baazz. I think Penny would like that one." Baz walked over, inspected the mug, and ended up agreeing. Just like Simon knew he would. 

* * *

     " I love it!" Penelope gasped as she opened the neatly wrapped newspaper. "It's absolutely perfect. Thank you." Baz nodded smugly. 

     "I thought you'd like it." Simon nudged Baz with his tail.

    "Don't be smug. You know it was my idea." 

    "Don't let it get to your head." Baz whispered, kissing Simon quickly. Penelope coughed. 

      "You're ruining the moment." Baz turned back to her. 

      "Right. So, it changes color when you add hot liquid." Penelope smiled. 

      "I know. It says on the package. I wonder what magic was used in this." Penelope said, already waving her ring over it. 

      "It's Normal, no magic." Simon said.

      "Yes, but it's amazing! I bet magic can be used to duplicate it." Penelope focused on the mug. Simon smiled fondly at her.

      "Tell me when you put it in the shop." Penelope looked up again.

     "Are you crazy? I'm keeping this for myself!" 

 


	11. This isn't really a chapter.

Let's be real here.

This fic is spiraling into a pile of garbage. 

So I have no plans to continue it, unless anyone has any suggestions.

I'm just going to delete it. 

Thank you for your support and kindness thus far.

-accidentallybroken


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